Mom: Daddy was afraid of girls when he was in high school. 

Dallin: Is that why you are in charge of this house? Dad is scared of you?

 Mike: I’m going to go create the sacrament programs for the next few weeks.

Weston: So you are about to piss off a whole bunch of people?

I was reading a book to the kids before bed and I read the word “badass”. 

Weston: wait. what?

Dallin: Did mom just say the “a” word?!?

Levi: Technically no. She said “badass”, which is one word that starts with a “b”.

 Weston to his brothers: I’ll give this lollipop to whoever says a cuss word first. 

Dallin: HELL!

Weston: That word doesn’t count because mom says it. 

Levi: ASS!

 Me: It’s stupid cold and I have to go to the stupid gym to exercise my stupid body and get stupid sore and everything is stupid and I hate it. 

Dallin: You look like you need a hug. *hugs me*

Dallin: Mom, could you NOT plan something for your anniversary? Or if you do, could you plan it for the week before or week after?

Me: Our anniversary is 7 months away. 

Dallin: I know! I made surprise plans for you, before you had a chance to make plans. Smart, huh? 

 Man jogs down the beach. 

Levi: He’s running from the police. 

—

At a friends house. Levi runs through the room and passes the dog and says “Hey kid, you want some drugs?” And then continues to run passed.